Race Depression before race even scheduled

Well, Provo 5150 was cancelled. That was what was keeping me going in this windy and cold spring. I swear Jan and Feb were better. It is just unsafe to ride in the wind here, and even running hurts with the sand.

All of a sudden the roads surfaces are terrible. They always were but I wasn't road riding for pure fun. I can't even get to Kolob climb bc of construction on the Interstate. Yes I ride on the Interstate.

I have gained 8 pounds in about as many days. Work is long and tiring. I am also waiting to hear if we will be moving in 2 months. Combine this with the car fiasco and I am burnt out. The only problem I am having is figuring out how to break the spell. I tried a mountain bike ride and my bike is a POS when I try to crank on it in the granny gear. I even set the derailluer to stay in the granny in two positions and I was still ripping it down the cassette. That just made me even more angry.

There are four things I get from training.

1) Fun. I am tired of the same routes and lack of a trail system. I am not getting in enough of those runs like I had in Moab on those trails. Pushing in the wind is getting real old. We have the most days over 20 mph in the nation but the gusts are just frightening when riding. 2 out of 10

2) Social aspect. Well I have one training partner who is on the mend and I have two triathlons under my belt in the last YEAR. 2 out of 10.

3) Challenge. I am not racing enough and in my past races I am going for the course record and to not loose. I really need to just race more but can't right now. 0 out of 10

4) Nature Deficit Disorder/Societal Congruence. I have to get outside pretty much every day. Training helps with not having woods in my backyard to go trompsing in looking for bugs, mushrooms and the whatnot. I do not like living in an apartment in town. I miss my tent. 8 out of 10. I am sitting getting out, but I also work outside.

Life is moving too slow and too fast for me in many ways. I guess I just have to wait.