Race Depression before race even scheduled

Well, Provo 5150 was cancelled. That was what was keeping me going in this windy and cold spring. I swear Jan and Feb were better. It is just unsafe to ride in the wind here, and even running hurts with the sand.

All of a sudden the roads surfaces are terrible. They always were but I wasn't road riding for pure fun. I can't even get to Kolob climb bc of construction on the Interstate. Yes I ride on the Interstate.

I have gained 8 pounds in about as many days. Work is long and tiring. I am also waiting to hear if we will be moving in 2 months. Combine this with the car fiasco and I am burnt out. The only problem I am having is figuring out how to break the spell. I tried a mountain bike ride and my bike is a POS when I try to crank on it in the granny gear. I even set the derailluer to stay in the granny in two positions and I was still ripping it down the cassette. That just made me even more angry.

There are four things I get from training.

1) Fun. I am tired of the same routes and lack of a trail system. I am not getting in enough of those runs like I had in Moab on those trails. Pushing in the wind is getting real old. We have the most days over 20 mph in the nation but the gusts are just frightening when riding. 2 out of 10

2) Social aspect. Well I have one training partner who is on the mend and I have two triathlons under my belt in the last YEAR. 2 out of 10.

3) Challenge. I am not racing enough and in my past races I am going for the course record and to not loose. I really need to just race more but can't right now. 0 out of 10

4) Nature Deficit Disorder/Societal Congruence. I have to get outside pretty much every day. Training helps with not having woods in my backyard to go trompsing in looking for bugs, mushrooms and the whatnot. I do not like living in an apartment in town. I miss my tent. 8 out of 10. I am sitting getting out, but I also work outside.

Life is moving too slow and too fast for me in many ways. I guess I just have to wait.

Total Race Calendar Change

On the way to Moab, and the Moab Tri, our Subaru blew a rod. Only took the mountain bike as I really wanted to ride the slickrock and figured I was too stressed to race. I did the practice loop and chickened out. You need knee pads and elbow pads to ride this. My eggbeater pedals are also crap and I forgot to switch them out before so I basically couldnt unclip. The grades are seriously granny gear stand and sprint. There are ZERO climbs anywhere like this. I just didnt want to get injured. Got in a crazy 2.5 trail run as well then.

Anyway, we bought a 2008 Hyundai Elantra that is getting great gas mileage and the next race planned is now a 1600M open water swim followed by the Provo 5150. The wife has two job interviews they are flying her out to MO and IA for so we may be back in the area as soon as Aug 15.

I have been uber stressed lately but plugging away ok and losing weight. I also found out I am 5ft 10.75 inches instead of 10.0. I hadn't measured in a long time and my posture has improved dramatically with the vibrams. I have about a 2cm leg diff but it may not be as much as I thought. Brings my BMI down to 23.7. For Ironman I would need to be 163 pounds, or 23.0 BMI to be competative and that is finally within reach.

As of May 23 I will have 3 weeks without the family and the training will be epic. It will be a hard base type session with 12K a week in the pool, 150 on the bike, and 45 on the run. Should set me up for Provo just perfect from where I am sitting now. Just need to supercharge the bike and tweak the run. The swim is about there already.

May and April wrap ups and updates.

Man, had another sickness. Went out for a group ride and literally rode off the front after I held the first 4 mile pull into the wind. Made it 4 out of 5 miles solo before being gassed. Some of the trucks out here spew black smoke that can actually be a hazard to see through and I was holding 39.5 the whole time this truck tried to pass but we hit an incline and I only slowed to 37 and he just held there. I fell apart after that. Rode more and then went home and couldn't eat. Woke up the next morning and moved from the couch about 4 times.

These sicknesses, stress from finances, and starting work again have really played on my psyche. Looking back at my log the workouts that I complete are rocking so that is a good sign.

I just bought a Profile Design Wahoo wetsuit that fits great and has catch panels on the forearms. Even with this I can't bring myself to sign up for the race next weekend. The OLY's around here have all gone over 100 bucks. Call me elitist but I don't want to "race" unless the prize for first is at least the entry back. Thats really all I want bc I like the fun of it but it is getting ridiculous in my opinion. Can't wait until Provo. Gonna be racing with a chip on my shoulder that no one is gonna knock off.

Not gonna do a write of of the months but they are in my training log on the 2011 Months tab. Just gonna have to start from scratch. The big change for the month is swimming 4 days a week in a row in the mornings now that I have 5am pool access and running sucks in the dark when you actually have another choice. More harder runs as well and if not hard then a 6.3 mile stroller push so I have the recovery to push the run workouts.