Long post but important sometimes to reflect on reasons for things.
Well, got out on the road for an easy 4 hour ride but the rear wheel was not having it. Tried to true it TWICE to no avail as it needs rebuilt. Sulked home and pouted the rest of the day but took another wheel on my wifes bike and switched out the cassettes as she will only ride it on the trainer for the next year and the wheel is fine for that.
This gave me time to reflect on things. My nature and I need to be active bc it taxes my physical but even more importantly my mental side. I forget that being married to someone with bio and math degrees at the best Wildlife school in the world about to get her PhD at 27 requires me to get that mental struggle out on something as well. I don't think I could be married to someone like this if I wasn't needing a difficult mental challenge all the time. I checked some heller, rand, and huxley from the library and will use triathlon to fill that void that is working for 7.50 an hour and being theatened top be fired bc I answer the phone "downtown" instead of "trailhead" bc everyone knows where that Starbucks is.
It feels weird but I feel the need for the identity of being a triathlete or a biologist. I think it is the gratification as opposed to pleasure that I derive from doing either one of them. I would rather be suffering through an interval or sustained effort then sitting on the beach sipping a mai tai. The training provides a reward in its self that is outside of the normal pressures of life. I put it upon myself to succeed and I have my own rubric. It just happens to be that this rubric is pushed a little bit until I can start working on what are my dreams outside of triathlon of having a home that works to become sustainable (eco-village sustainable) or to work in wildlife or teaching so that I feel more rewarded then I currently do. I like the customers at work and can feel rewarded talking to them but management wants to to be able to work at 110 percent while doing so.
I will justify myself with this posting by completing a two hour run tomorow morning and enjoying every bit of it. (except the fisrt 1/2 mile, it is still cold and wet in Montana)